16 May 2008

The Danger of "Fitting In"

It can be hard to believe that fitting in can be dangerous. There are extreme examples where being part of a gang, or hanging out with drinking buddies, etc. where you can easily see it and it makes sense. But I'm talking about me, after all it is my blog! I am a housewife, a stay at home mom, a homeschooling mom. Okay I've been homeschooling since before homeschooling was a "catch phrase" that everybody is doing these days.... so I guess I didn't used to "fit in" that way. I guess that was just a hint of who I really am sitting below the surface waiting to be remembered.

I love my mom. She's great. I got an email from my mom today that made me realize how many of my "problems" have come from my desire to "fit in". I think it started about 25 years ago... in school. (No wonder I have a "thing" about public school!) Somewhere I started believing that I WAS SUPPOSED to "fit in", to be average. And so I started a long journey of trying to figure out how to "fit in". Somewhere along the way I actually believed that I was the person that I became trying to "fit in", and have lived my life that way.

Every so often the ugly head of exceptionality (Yes, I know it is not a word. Extrapolate to figure it out!) has displayed itself. I have done such things as staying home with my children when it was not a normal thing to do, homeschooling my children when most people believed that you could get arrested for doing so, attachment parenting before it had a name, breast feeding while people tried to get women arrested for doing so discretely in public.... I guess those are pretty big accomplishments for such an average person trying their best to "fit in"!

My point though is how much more could I be now, can I be tomorrow, if I stop trying to "fit in", and start being the exceptional person that I have shoved down inside of me?

If the most dangerous place you can live is your comfort zone, than the most dangerous activity you can be party to is fitting in.

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