11 July 2009

Pity Party for the Victim

So often I have heard other people say to me that they wish they could be as strong as I am. They envy the way I continue on, the way I can stand by and wait for others, the way I always stay afloat...

and my first thought is always, "If only they knew..." 
No one knows how weak I am, how much I depend on others... if they knew they would point and laugh, and leave.
That's where the post title comes in. I read this and heard the victim in my thoughts looking for someone to pity her... I'm not being mean, just honest. The victim doesn't get anywhere, and only finds more pain. I have fought hard to flush the victim out, and find the empowered person buried in my soul. Some days I win... and others the smoker asks why I ever gave up cigarettes.
My secret? Why does everyone see me as so strong? It's quite simple...I keep going. I just keep going. You only fail when you stop trying, so I just keep going.
Another thing...fighting doesn't accomplishing anything... Pick your battles carefully, most of them are not really worth it. Instead of fighting, I side step. It is amazing how many oncoming fights can be avoided by simply side stepping them. 
And somewhere along the way, if it is really important, it will come back. Usually it is not in the mood to fight anymore, and you can deal with it rationally at that point.
I'm not sure that there is a point to this... just the victim's need to rant while the empowered one waits for the writing fairy wearing the purple dress and sparkles to show up...

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