Learning To Let Go

So many times in order to move on with our lives, we need to learn to let go of what is past. This can be an emotional process that is often fraught with pain. So many times we have locked things deep inside and are afraid to bring them back up. Other times we have memories of things that are gone, and we don't want to lose those so we cling tightly. Holding on to all of these old memories, and often physical possessions to match, can be quite detrimental to our emotional health. Did you know it can also effect your physical health?

Some of you may know that my mother has spent this year dealing with an extremely rare form of breast cancer. It has been a long year.. it started with, "I have these lumps.. any thoughts what they might be?" From there doctor's visits, and finding out it was breast cancer. Then we found out it was this rare form that was not so easily dealt with. Luckily my mother happens to currently reside in a town that is a prominent research facility for breast cancer.. little did they know when they moved there a few years back.. It is also a town of alternative medicine, and treatment that includes complementary medicine was developed for her. The spring and summer saw her go through chemotherapy, and this fall has seen a double mastectomy. And I am happy to say that the tests have come back showing no sign of cancer at this point.

It is interesting to learn of all the various modalities she has learned over the course of this year, so many that I was able to help her learn, and others that I learned from her.. She has gone through major changes to her diet, including removing allergens and adding in more raw produce. She has gone to regular energy therapy sessions, weekly acupuncture appointments, and read through a not so small library on health and cancer.

Of all the things she learned, she shared one thing that she thinks was the biggest cause of her cancer, and she cautioned me not to let it catch me unaware. It is probably not what you think. It is not genetic.. turns out that genetic only accounts for 10% of your chance of developing cancer. Food and chemical toxins are sure to have played a part in the development, cause, and exasperation of her cancer as with anyone else's. But the largest part of her cancer she says was emotional.. It was all of the memories that she held on to and wouldn't let go of.

She has become a different person as she has let go of so many memories that have caused her such pain over the years. She says it was actually fairly easy for her to learn to let go. Her choice was simple.. let the disease of cancer ravage her body and kill her, or let go of things so long over.

She says my choice may not be so easy.. after all, I still see plenty of life ahead of me. But I think that I will learn from her, and learn to let go of what is past. It may not be as simple of a task for me, but it will only be as hard as I make it. The pain is in the resistance. What about you? What are you hanging onto that is slowly choking the life out of your body.. are you willing to die for those memories.. or..

Can you learn to let go?

Inner Strength - Where Does It Come From?

Inner strength.. it is that drive that keeps us moving forward through any adversity. Where does it come from? I mean where did we originally learn it?

I have heard quite a bit recently from others that I am a strong person, yet I see myself as so weak. As this is an occurrence which repeats itself on a regular basis, I hope you will indulge me as I explore my thoughts on the idea of inner strength, what it is, and where we learn it...

Life happens, problems occur.. when that happens we simply face it and keep going, right? This is what others say they see in me, the reason they see me as so strong, because I pick up the pieces and keep going. Is it really that hard to do? Is that really what inner strength is? 

If that is what inner strength is, where do we learn it from? Is it something that we are taught, get from experience, or are we born with it? Recent conversations have led me to the thought that if we are taught as children that we are always surrounded by people who we can turn to for help, that this builds up our inner strength. I may have had a difficult childhood, though not as difficult as others by any means, but I have always known that I have family, friends, and strangers in general even, who will be there to help me if I just ask.. if I just say that I need help. 

I was recently reminded of this as my car sat dead in my driveway, unable to start. I spent a week trying to figure out on my own what was wrong, trying to avoid asking for help.. and the car still sat dead in my driveway. I finally caved in (interesting choice of words!) and called a friend I thought might be able to help me. After turning the problem over to them, I felt such a sense of relief.. I knew I had finally done the right thing. A few days of research, and a half an hour with my car, and it runs again! And I waited for a week to call my friend why?!

Which was the inner strength.. me sitting on my own failing at figuring it out, or me calling a friend and turning the problem over to them? 

I would love to hear your thoughts.. please leave a comment.

How Do You Relate?

Knowing how you relate to things and how your children relate to things can be what makes or breaks your relationship. It can be very hard to understand why your Kinesthetic child never seems to hear you if you are Auditory. It can be difficult to know why you child wants to listen to music all the time when you are a Visual. Do you even know what these relating styles are? Let's explore them a bit..

Being a Visual relater can seem fairly obvious. These are the people that relate best to what they see. They do well with pictures, and the written word. When they speak you will hear them say things such as, " Do you see what I mean?" "It seems clear to me." Visual relaters tend to be more uptight, high-strung, and very detail oriented. The visual oriented person will often get lost in thoughts and daydreams. They are the ones that seem to watch your body language as much, if not more, than listening to you.

An Auditory relater will hear what you are saying long before they see the whole picture! Okay, that was bad, but you get the point. You can reach Auditory relaters better with sound.. they will really get into music and will often learn best whatever is set to music, or if there is music playing in the background. An Auditory person will respond to criticism better if you can find something positive to say first. They love to talk to people and need to hear your thoughts and feelings. Their language will consist of things such as, "Do you hear what I am saying?" "Hear me out." "I can tell by your tone.."

Although the most common relating styles are Visual and Auditory, we can't forget to mention Kinesthetic relaters. These people will be touched to be noticed! (I know, I know!) Kinesthetic relaters are your touchy, feely people. They love hugs, and to hold your hand. These are the children that will always be in your lap! Kinesthetic relaters can often be harder to relate to because they never seem to listen.. A gentle touch of their shoulder will get those ears working again though! They like to learn through doing, and feeling their way through things. They will tell you that they are Kinesthetic by using language such as, "I can handle it." "I feel like we really made progress."

Understanding how you, your children, and everyone else relates to things can make all the relationships much better. It can also help you know how to present new material to your children.. Kinesthetic children will respond better to that science experiment at the kitchen table than reading about it. Visual learners will love the books and movies from the library. Auditory children, will be grateful for those audiobooks that you added to their mp3 player. Have fun exploring your world from this new perspective!

JumpStart 'Pet Rescue' for Wii Coming Soon!

I am so glad to be able to tell everyone about JumpStart 'Pet Rescue' for Wii! It is due out in the stores in less than two weeks! Mark your calendars for August 31st and September 1st depending on where you shop! The first title to be released by JumpStart for the Wii is designed for ages 3 to 6, and carries an Early Childhood rating. This is a fantastic game for those with a Wii and young children! I love finding games that are fun, friendly, and educational!

I am hoping to share our experiences with the game, but for now I will leave you with..
It is a big hit here!

Here, Gone, And Back Again...

Some days are just not worth mentioning, and other days are so wonderful they leave you at a loss for words..
My last couple of weeks have been like that. I thought the worst was over, but it just left an opening for my heart to come back through and see what it had been denying. I must have been blind to the elephant in the room to not have seen how worried I was about my mother. I am thrilled to say that it seems the worst of it is over, and she is on the path to recovery now.
This leads me to days that are so wonderful they leave you at a loss for words.. my last couple of days have been like that. To find out how many caring people are out there. There were so many that offered support to me and my mother; I am touched by the outpouring. I am both humbled and elated by this experience. I have seen some true hearts that inspire me to be better than I am. Thank you.
Then there are a few closer friends who were there to support me through all the tears and horrible lashing out I did.. it was not a pretty picture..thank you, you deserve so much better. Thank you for staying with me through it all and seeing me to the end of the pain.. I am so glad you were there and so glad you stayed...

Life Learning Identified! Breaking News!

It's funny.. when people ask me how to life learn, I give them a blank look. Thoughts go through my head like, "Well, how do YOU live life?" or "How do YOU learn?" These are obviously not great answers for anyone who is not familiar with the concept of letting kids follow their interests, or anyone who doesn't realize that kids can learn outside of text books and workbooks.

I have struggled to make sense of exactly how we life learn in an effort to help others understand what we do, and to help them to see the value in it, or the ease of doing so. I have tried to show what life learning does look like, but it is hard to express how much learning is actually taking place when you watch your kids drive their hot wheels across the back of the couch, or while they are shooting down aliens on the computer, or while they are drawing an abstract picture with crayons on the floor. I have learned to have faith in this. It was not an easy journey for me, nor was it a quick one.. but somewhere along the way I began to believe, and I am no longer consumed with what subject label we could put on an activity. We live life, learning happens..


I was on the phone today with a friend (who does not know that much about homeschooling), dealing with children between pieces of conversation like usual, when I hear through the phone, "Now I have heard you homeschool!" I have to admit a blank look crossed my face as I thought, "what on earth is he talking about?" "Ummm.. ooookaaayyy," I answered. Silence. I finally broke the silence. "What ARE you talking about?!" "That THING you did right there.. talking to Ber," he replied. I sat thinking for a moment reviewing in my mind what I had said, what had Ber and I just talked about? (Yeah, I admit it.. Talk. Move on. later.. I said WHAT?) Fortunately this time I recalled that we were discussing that we could drowned in the ocean, but would suffocate in the sand. Okay, odd conversation, but it really did fit into the moment! Feeling smug at having recalled the tidbit of conversation, I replied, "OOOOHH! That THING where Ber and I were talking about drowning and suffocation?" Quite happily, he exclaimed, "Yeah, yeah, that was you homeschooling!"


And so it was, there was a piece of my life learning day that had escaped over the phone to be heard by someone who hadn't understood before..

It's Not Just Homeschooling, It's Life Learning

It's not just homeschooling, it's Life Learning. If you are not familiar with the homeschooling environment, you might be asking what the difference is. If you are familiar with homeschooling, you might simply be asking what Life Learning is.. I have written about it before, but I feel compelled to try to explain it further.

Let's start with home schooling though. Homeschooling can encompass any number of different curriculum and styles. Some family choose to recreate a school environment within their home using text books, workbooks, and the kitchen timer as a signal to switch classes. Some families choose to do unit studies and pick a topic of interest and explore it from every aspect of education. Still other families prefer something akin to a Montessori or Waldorf style run in their homes. I'm sure there are more curriculum that you can think of, and other styles that can be mentioned.. feel free to leave them in the comments if you wish..

Beyond all the curriculum of homeschooling, you start to find the simpler world of Unschooling. Unschooling by definition is simply child led learning. Some may say it means that you do not use any curriculum, but this is not necessarily true. If your child wants curriculum, you use curriculum. If your child wants to try out school, you grit your teeth, cry in private, and pack them their lunch each day. You let the child's interest direct their learning. Will they learn that way? You bet they will.. they are natural explorers, they each have their own direction, but every child has a list a mile long of things they WANT to learn about. Heck, I think most adults have a list that long too.. I know I do!

Further into unschooling, you find Radical Unschooling. These are the families that tend to not use curriculum. For them, curriculum is never needed. There are plenty of learning opportunities around each of us, every day.. if only we would stop and see them as such. The world is their playground. The libraries hold plenty of books to read, the museums hold plenty of science, history, and art, depending on which type you are going to. Want to learn about animals? Try the zoo. Want to learn about marine life? Where's the aquarium? Or maybe this week you are learning about pigeons while playing at the park, exploring the river bank to see what lives and grows there. Perhaps it is horticulture this week as you watch your plants in the garden grow.. and then on to cooking (or uncooking) class as you harvest the fruits of your horticultural labors. Where are your passions.. follow them, share them. Even more important, where are your child's passions.. follow them, share them.

From radical unschooling, it is an easy side step to Life Learning. Life learning is not just the style of education  that the child receives, it is the style of life that the family lives. It is a style that may or may not include breastfeeding, co-sleeping, attachment parenting, cloth diapers, and respectful parenting. Life learning may be done in an apartment in the city, on a farm in the country, in a hut on the beach, and anywhere in between. Life learning encompasses the thought that children are capable of thoughts and decisions well beyond their years. It is a place were children are treated with the same respect that the adults are given. It is a place where children are given the same choices as an adult is given. Children are not disciplined per se, but encouraged to learn self control and establish their own boundaries.. taught to accept the responsibilities for their own choices. In this place, the adults are mentors, guardians, life guards, and friends.

This is my world.. I don't just homeschool, I life learn.
If you have questions or want to share your thoughts, please leave them in the comments, and I will get back to you with answers one way or another.

Poetry: Immersion Into My Thoughts

I have learned through the years that the best way to get through the bad feelings is to actually take the time to feel them. Don't just feel them, immerse yourself in them, revel in them.. enjoy every nuance of every feeling, good or bad.

From such a place as this, the most wonderful creativity can flow. I share with you today some of the creativity birthed of my pain as I reveled in the totality of my feelings this past weekend. Go easy on me.. these are original drafts...

The Ending

A wave of sadness washes over me

It was not the ending I expected to see

I dreamed of forever and it never came

Instead love faded and feelings did tame

A life of unhappiness I could not abide

Better to let this love slip aside

But to let it go, after so long

Brings pain to my heart that feels so wrong

What will heal this heart in pain?

What could all this hope to gain?

When will it end, this sadness I feel?

When will the bane end, and let me heal?

Lost Love

Pain in this ending I did not expect to feel

Pain in this ending that is now real

I didn't know that you were hanging on

that you thought that we would meet anon

It was over between us so long ago

So many years we didn't let go

Now here we are, seeing it clear as day

Is this the price that love must pay?

To feel this pain from either side

To see the tears that now have dried

To know the hope you lost this day

To see that you had lost your way

The Pain is in Holding On

So often we think that when something ends, and we are feeling sadness or pain, that the pain is caused by the ending. What we fail to realize is that the pain is only present as long as we hold on. As long as we cling to the thoughts or feelings, and refuse to accept what has happened, we feel pain.

We have it within our abilities to release all of our suffering, all of our emotional pain.. and therefore lessen any physical pain also. It is as simple as accepting our situation, our circumstances, and letting go of our expectations of it being different. It is the expectations that we are attached to, and clinging to those is what causes us pain. 

Learning to let go is one of the most challenging things we may do in our lives. We have been taught to hang on, to have expectations, to plan for the future. Learning to stop thinking that way is very different from everything we know, and yet this is what is necessary to cease our suffering.

Good news is, we can change our minds. In any second, we can decide to make things different. Take each moment as it comes, and make a choice. And the next moment you are free to choose again, to choose differently. Learn to let go of your expectations by making that choice one moment at a time, and you will start to experience life from a different perspective.. one that is free of suffering.

Tips for PVC Free School Supplies

Taken from CHEJ Back To School Guide:

Tips for Avoiding PVC in School Supplies

Art Supplies

Avoid PVC in smocks. Avoid modeling clays made of PVC (polymer clays such as Fimo and Sculpey).

Backpacks

Avoid backpacks with shiny plastic designs as they often contain PVC and may contain lead.

Clothing and Accessories

Look for PVC-free materials in raincoats, rain boots, prints on clothing, and accessories such as handbags, jewelry and belts.

Lunch Boxes and Food-Wrap

Use cloth lunch bags or metal lunch boxes.Many plastic lunch boxes are made of or lined with PVC. 

Use PVC-free butcher paper, waxed paper, parchment paper, low density polyethylene (LDPE) or cellulose bags for food-wrap.

Notebooks

Avoid notebooks with metal spirals encased in colored plastic as it usually contains PVC.

Paperclips

Stick to the plain metal paperclips. Colored paper clips are coated with PVC.

Three-Ring Binders

Use cardboard, fabric-covered, or polypropylene

Utensils and Dishware

Use stainless steel utensils. If you require disposable dinnerware, look for bio-based (made with PLA or PHA plastics) cutlery and plates.

Use glass or stainless steel drinking containers. If you require plastic, avoid PVC, polystyrene (PS) and polycarbonate (PC) plastics.

Never microwave with plastics. Use glass, stoneware, or ceramic dishware and containers instead. Heating plastic increases the chances of chemical additives such as bisphenol A, phthalates or other additives

leaching into food and beverages.

(**Better yet, Get rid of the microwave! Dead food never did anyone any good!)

Get more information here: http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/o/852/t/2088/signUp.jsp?key=4410

The CHEJ has even put together a list of supplies and companies that contain are PVC FREE! Yeah!

JumpStart 'Pet Rescue' Arrived at Our Door Today!

I love when the "big brown tuck" comes! The boys get so excited! When it came today, we were in the middle of a watching Disney's Igor, and I managed to get to the door with no one noticing! Amazing!

None the less, as soon as the movie was over, they just knew! They were crawling all over me looking for the package that had arrived! They just knew it must be for them. Could it have been because I asked if they remembered if JumpStart stuff came in the mail or by "big brown truck" just this morning?!

Well, we opened up the box, and Little A stuck his hands in to pull out.. a lovely note from JumpStart. Not what he was expecting! He digs back into the package to pull out.. a JumpStart mousepad! He was thrilled, and I was thinking, "Cool! Bonus!" Little A hugs the mousepad and starts walking away.. yeah that's my little Huggy Buggy.. too cute, huh? I called him back to ask him to look into the box again. This time he looked into the box and saw the Wii game. He pulled it out and triumphantly held it up in the air to show everyone! 

"Mom, do we get to keep it?" I love when I get to say yes to that question.. I love the look on his face that the answer brings. "Mom, on the game, do we get to keep our pets? When we go from place to place, from level to level?" "I don't know sweetie. You'll have to play the game and tell me, so I can tell everyone else. Deal?" "Deal!"

Identifying PVC - Hold the Poison Please

Taken from CHEJ Back To School Guide:

The key to avoiding PVC products is recognizing them and knowing how to find safer alternatives.

• PVC products are often labeled with the words “vinyl” on the packaging, such as vinyl 3-ring binders
• PVC packaging can be identified by looking for the number “3” inside, or the letters “V” or “PVC” underneath, the universal recycling symbol, indicating the product is made out of PVC. Just remember – bad news comes in #3’s, don’t buy PVC
• Some products are not properly labeled, making it tough to determine whether they contain PVC. If you’re uncertain, e-mail or call the 1-800 number of the manufacturer or retailer and ask what type of plastic their product is made of. You have a right to know.

Three easy tips to spot the poisonous plastic! Specific Tips for school supplies next!

Find out more at: http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/o/852/t/2088/signUp.jsp?key=4410

Back To School Supplies? PVC Free Please!

Taken from the CHEJ Back To School Guide:

Many children’s school supplies, such as lunch boxes, backpacks and binders, are often made out of PVC—an unnecessary toxic plastic that is dangerous to our health and the environment across its lifecycle: from production, to use, to disposal. Cancer causing chemicals that contaminate the air and water of surrounding

communities are used to produce PVC. When PVC is manufactured or burned, numerous dioxins are formed and released. Dioxins are a highly toxic group of chemicals that can cause cancer, and harm the immune and reproductive systems. These and other toxic chemicals released during the PVC lifecycle contaminate our bodies

and may pose irreversible life-long health threats. 

Why Shop for PVC - Free School Supplies?

PVC is unique among plastics because it contains dangerous chemical additives. These harmful chemicals include phthalates, lead, cadmium, and/or organotins, which can be toxic to your child’s health. What’s worse is the danger these chemicals pose- phthalates and other toxic additives can leach out or evaporate into the air over time posing unnecessary dangers to children. Over 90% of all phthalates are used to soften or plasticize PVC products. Children are at risk from even small exposures to these toxic chemicals. That’s why it’s important to  purchase PVC-free school supplies.

Stay tuned to find out how to identify PVC in the products you are purchasing! And tips on what to look out for!

Find out more: http://salsa.democracyinaction.org/o/852/t/2088/signUp.jsp?key=4410

Life Changes and JumpStart

It is funny how in life the smallest things can feel like some of the largest changes..

I am being slightly distressed over my original contact at JumpStart leaving, but she is on to better things I am sure! I have a new contact there now, and will get to know her as we receive and test out the new Wii game!

Yup.. a little birdie told me that a copy of the new JumpStart 'Pet Rescue' for Wii is being put into the mailbox and is on its' way. I will share when it arrives, and look forward to sharing all of our thoughts about it! Little A is bouncing in excitement!

Monsoon in the Desert?

What exactly is a monsoon? It is a season of extremely heavy rainfall that lasts for months in India... so why am I mentioning it in the Mohave Desert in Arizona? 

When we first moved to Arizona, and lived in the Phoenix valley which is in the Sonoran Desert, the locals referred to the massive rainfall that happened in the late summer/early fall as their monsoon season. It thankfully only lasts for a few weeks there, but it is characterized by overwhelming amounts of water pouring out of the sky. 

The largest problem with this is that the ground in the desert is DRY. It is so dry that it can not absorb the water any where near as fast or in the amount of what is falling from the sky. When this happens, roads flood, houses flood, people get stranded... Think about trying to soak up a spill with a dry sponge. That is how the desert ground acts with the rainwater.

The next problem are washes. I first heard the term "wash" used to describe landscape living in Arizona. A wash is an area that becomes a river during heavy rainfall. These washes often cross roads, and are powerful enough to sweep a car driving down the road into the stream and off into the distant desert. When they are not filled with water, which is most of the year, washes are some of the most beautiful places to hike and explore. They are just filled with life!

As we are now in our second monsoon season for the Mohave Desert of Arizona, I now have quite a different view of the term "monsoon season". Where we live, it is a joke to my neighbors that we can see the rain, we can sometimes even walk to the rain, but we just do not get any rain here. Seriously, a downfall here is like a light sprinkle in Chicago.We run out to play in the rain every time it starts. It is so wonderful for the five to ten minutes that it lasts! 

I was chatting with my neighbor the other day and she mentioned that we were in the middle of monsoon season. That struck me as quite funny because we have only had one sprinkle this month. But I defer to her wisdom, as she has grown up here. I started thinking about the weather and what she had said, and that's when it occurred to me what the definition of monsoon season actually is here. Here it is the increase of humidity, with more rain than usual. Does that sound funny? 

Most of the year we enjoy a humidity of only 4% or 5%. It is quite dry. When rain does fall, it is evaporates in the air before it ever hits the ground. This dryness makes it SO much easier to handle the extreme heat. 105 degrees is really fairly comfortable at 5% humidity. At least it is once your body adjusts to it! But being monsoon season, we have been experiencing humidity in the range of 20% to 45%. The heat of 120 degrees at that humidity is totally unbearable... at least to me and the kids!

For most of you these low humidity ranges must sound ridiculous. I do understand. I grew up in Chicago, IL. I know what over 100% humidity feels like, even if I don't know how it can exist! I do remember the radio announcers in the summer saying it. Mostly I remember it being 96% humidity over the summer because that was the radio station I listened to in high school! 

So, now you know that deserts can be different from each other, and what a monsoon in the desert is!