02 May 2010

Drill Sergeant or Mother?

Today has been one of those days when I am glad for my vocal training. I learned how to breathe into my diaphragm and use it to really project my voice. Anyone that knows me, knows how soft spoken I am. My voice is naturally so quiet that I am often passed by and missed for not having been heard. When I speak loudly it is one of those things where everyone around me drops what they are doing and just stand there is awe.

There must be something in the air today. Maybe the energy is out of whack or something. Are you sure it is not a full moon? My boys have been obnoxious, rowdy, and loud. And I am being generous and nice right now. I have spent the day feeling more like a drill sergeant than a mother. Worse, at one point today I was picturing the movies where you see the matron of the orphanage or live in school with the black dress and hair pulled back, wooden ruler in hand, standing at the top of the stairs, or looming in the doorway. The one that you can never please and has unreasonable expectations that can never be lived up to. For a short moment, I felt like her. Then I realized that I was asking for simple respect that any other day of the week would have been freely given. And so I am grateful for my vocal training. Is that a strange thing to be grateful for?

I really do not know what happened today. For now, I will just be grateful that the day has ended. The boys are settled down, and for the first time all day long, we are all sitting down together quietly watching a tv show. Not my favorite family activity, but today I will take it.

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