18 August 2010

But Is THAT Unschooling?!

About a year ago, I remember having a series of conversations with a fellow homeschooler about choosing what is right for your own family, as far as education is concerned. The thing that made this conversation so memorable was that this unschooler was considering putting her young child into school because it was a structure that fit him and was what she needed to accomplish her personal goals. These conversations came up in a public forum, and there were several people giving their opinions on the matter.


The biggest question that continued to come to the forefront was, "How can you be an unschooler if your child is in school?" How can you claim that coveted title of living free from regulated education, if you allowed your child to be daily placed into the confined structure of a classroom? Can you BE ALLOWED to call yourself an unschooler or even a homeschooler? It was a heated discussion, and one that made me really think about my feelings on the matter last year. More so, it has continued to stay in my heart and my mind and has allowed me to do even more soul searching about it over the last year.


As we are back to the time of year when most of the public schools are starting their new year, it seems appropriate to bring it up again, and share what my soul searching has brought to me. Unschoolers have long proudly held to the fact that they educate their children in "different" ways. We have searched out what is best for each of our children, and tried to provide it. We have watched in awe and amazement as their daily play brings them through a natural course of education that rivals any public school. We take pride in our children's ability to learn without textbooks. We take pride in the other resources we search out for our children to provide a more organic way of learning.


Of all of those proud traditions of unschoolers, and indeed of homeschoolers in general, I believe the one that is most important is that we search out what is best for our children and try to provide it for them. If one child learns best by listening, then we find audio books and read out loud to them. If another child loves robots, then everything around them becomes robots. If another child takes quickly to the computer, then we find ways for them to use the computer, and internet, safely. If one child learns best in solitude behind the closed door of their bedroom, then we bite our nails and worry quietly and let them show us what they have learned when they are ready to. If another child loves to have direct teaching and do workbook pages, then we go buy workbooks, or make pages for them to do.


And if all of this is true, then why is it that an unschooling mom has to be harshly judged when she recognizes that one of her children may do really well within a structured classroom setting? Isn't this simply trying to provide what is best for that child? Isn't this still homeschooling, and even unschooling, as how the child learns best is taken into consideration and provided? And simply because a child is in a classroom doesn't mean that all learning outside of the classroom stops. A more organic approach can still permeate life outside that classroom. I believe that this would all fit into the title of unschooling or homeschooling if one chooses to have that label.. it is just a "different" form then most unschooling takes.


I have been thinking about this common theme of doing what is best for each person in the family a lot lately. Whether it is about what S.T.U.F.F. to decide to keep when decluttering, or what media to use to educate your child, it is always about doing what is best for each person.. including yourself. When we start to realize this, and allow ourselves the freedom to make these choices, we can really make a difference in our lives and in the lives of everyone around us. It is in this way that you can support the individuality, the uniqueness, of each of us. It is in this way that self confidence can be built and strengthened, and the development of self worth is supported. Personally, I believe that this is much more important than doing what other people expect or living by the guidelines that surround us all.

10 August 2010

Learning to Enjoy Life

One of the huge lessons we have been learning on our life learning journey lately is that we enjoy living life. We have been working to slowly pare down our belongings, as we realize they do not bring us the same pleasure as other parts of our life. We have been seeing that spending time with others is truly what is important to us. We have been seeing how much S.T.U.F.F. we have that we simply don't even know why we have it. And as we are sorting through our belongings and donating what we are done with, we are seeing how much farther we have to go.

It may be nice to have the storage shed just off the porch outside, but we are finding out that just because you have room for it doesn't mean you want it. This is the reverse of the lesson that we learned a couple years back that just because you don't have enough space for something does NOT mean that you do NOT want it! All these possessions we swore we couldn't live without a couple of years ago are being looked at askance now as we dutifully try to avoid them. After all, eye contact means you have to deal with it, and we aren't ready to do that yet. So many of these things we look at and think, society tells me that I should want this, but I don't. Does that mean that there is something wrong with me?

We may learn from our past, but I don't think all of us were meant to keep it. The other day I was talking with my mom on the phone about her upcoming move. I asked her if she was going to sort through any of the clutter, or if she was just going to make sure it all got moved and deal with it later. The move is coming up in just a few weeks, and they just signed the lease on the new place, so there really isn't that much time. She stated that she was going to sort through some of it, after all they didn't want to move garbage! But after long soul searching she was realizing that she and her husband were "living museums". They feel a need to keep all of the old stuff with them. It always seems to come in handy.. and on a regular basis. She could always pull out props to help emphasize a point she was teaching to someone, or to show someone how things used to be. This is a role she is very comfortable in.

On the other hand, the image came to me that I am an "open field". I want to have open spaces and only the things that are directly useful. I want to share laughter and happiness with others. I want to share learning with others about new concepts, and new ways. It may sound a bit silly, but this was a revelation to me. It seems that as much like my mom as I am, I do it my own way. My daughter decided that she is a "convertible with the top down, a suitcase in the trunk, and an unlimited tank of gas". I have to agree.. she is such a free spirit.

And I have to laugh as I recognize that in our family through the generations we are learning that what we really want is less stuff to weigh us down, and more freedom to be ourselves and share that with others.