24 May 2011

Important Lessons I Remembered I Forgot


I had meant to do a follow up the next day on what I had learned from that memory coming up. It seems that is not what life had in store for me though! 

The most important thing I remembered that day is that at one point I had been strong. In fact I never lost that strength.

The other most important thing I remembered that day is that I had made a choice. I made a choice to believe him. I made a choice to do what he said. I made that choice because it was in what I believed was the best interest of myself, my children, my family. It took strength to make that choice. It took even more strength to keep that choice. 

What's more, I remember that I had to make that choice again at another point, perhaps more than one other point. It took strength to make that choice. It took strength to be the victim.

Don't ever let anyone tell you that because you have been a victim, you are weak. And don't believe them if they tell you that because you have been a victim, you are still a victim. Neither of these things are true. To have survived being a victim, you MUST be strong. And you can stop being a victim as soon as you make the choice to.. when you are ready. 

It may be that the time to stop being a victim is not now. That role may be keeping you safe until you are prepared to get out of your current situation. That takes incredible strength! Believe that, remember that. And always remember that you can change your situation as soon as you are ready to make a different choice. The choice to believe in yourself again.

Life lessons learned do not need to be lived again. Love yourself. Thank yourself for doing the best that you knew how in that moment. Forgive yourself for not knowing any better, for not changing any sooner. Then let the anger, the sadness, the grief, the excess energy go. Let yourself heal and grow stronger for it.

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