I know I have spent a lot of time talking about healing from abuse lately. What I haven't talked about is how to recognize signs of being in an abusive relationship. After all, it was years before we could admit that we were even in an abusive relationship. Such is the nature of emotional abuse. There is simply nothing you can really point a finger at and say, "That was abusive." or, "That was out of bounds." Taken one event at a time, they are just that, an event.
I ran across a wonderful article detailing four signs of being in an abusive relationship, and I thought I would share a bit of that with you. I went through these things for years, never realizing that it was actually abuse.
(Please note that an abuser can be any gender, any age, and of any relationship to you. I use the common pronoun of 'he' as a matter of simplicity in writing.)
The four signs to watch for are:
1. You walk on eggshells around him. If you have to be careful when he "gets in that mood", something is NOT right.
2. You make excuses for him. Seriously? "HE" had a bad day, has anger issues, had a rough childhood, is NOT a reason for him to be a jerk. They ARE reasons for him to seek help.
3. He makes comments that belittle you. No one has the right to tell you that you are anything other than the wonderful and special person that you are.
4. He is extremely jealous. It may be cute at first that he doesn't like you talking to other guys, but trust me, it isn't later on. Those are his insecurities, not your misbehavior. Don't let him tell you who you can talk to or smile at. Ever.
What do you do if any of this sounds familiar? First, realize you are not alone. Second, get help. And walk away from your abuser as fast as you can, and don't look back. You can't help them. And they are only hurting you.
To read the rest of the article I found, click here.